The Poison of Indifference

Indifferent is a dangerous state of being. It means one's feelings are becoming numb. It represents lack of interest or having no particular interest; unconcerned. One just is. It is often mistaken for acceptance, denial, or tolerance, but it's much much shadier than that.  Indifference is the silent killer of all things good. 


Indifference is poison in my body. It is slowly killing whatever raw emotion I have left. My heart has gone from excitement to disappointment, disappointment to hope, hope to anger, and recently anger to indifference. I'm trying hard to grasp onto what is good, noble, true and lovely. But my world has gone from color to various shades of grey one too many times.  Where there was once longing, there is a gaping hole whose yearning to be filled has ceased. It is complacent being wide open, exposed and unfulfilled.  It is in times like these I cling to these words
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I don't feel them, but they are truth none the less. So in this state of complacency, this dangerous phase of indifference, I will seek, with all my heart, the wisdom that can only come from God. Otherwise, this thing is going to kill me, and that just can't happen. 


Are you experiencing or have you experienced the poison of indifference? 
How do you keep yourself from giving in? 


5 comments:

  1. Very insightful and not often discussed. I think after a long periods of working on a stressful relationship this can be hard to fight off. I admire your willingness to persevere in spite of your feelings. Good word today!

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  2. Joining you in prayer. Praying for peace and rest for you, dear friend.

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  3. I know this well. For the first time this year, I have really felt unforgiven and unloved and have been so broken hearted about it. I have gone from discouragement and sadness to indifference. I feel like I can't fix it so what's the point. I know this is a wrong response but it's easier than hurting or feeling worthless as I have. I have to learn from my sadness. I have to rise up from my brokenness by His grace. You're right about it being a poison. It has taken a lot from me. It's time to let myself feel, mourn, and turn the page. You're not alone, sister. Thank you for letting me know I'm not either.

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  4. i can relate. today, i began to feel all of those things due to some circumstances in my life..but then I read about my friend whose son just had his 15th surgery for tumors that keep growing back. and then I read about a 7 year old who died in our neigborhood because of shrapnel from a lawn mower...and my heart just sank. These things humble me. I just started thanking God that no matter how bad things seem, there is always somethingto be thankful for..I'm sorry for what you are facing. Keep fighting, dear and beautiful lady. Keep fighting.

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  5. this is such a nice monday morning ready, thanks a lot for posting!

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