When Winter Lingers in the Soul

We hear people say that life is made of different seasons, strung together by the sun and the moon. Everyone hits the rough patches, sooner or later.

When I first started blogging, it was difficult for me to really relate to bloggers going through a particularly difficult season. I felt for them. I had sympathy. I was also curious. Is it difficult to function in the everyday loop of mothering and house-keeping while you're "in a difficult season"?

I assumed things must be bleak if it was bad enough to blog about. In my mind, a difficult season probably meant not getting off the couch; serving Rice Krispies for dinner eight days straight. I was relieved that I would never know for sure. No way would it ever happen to me, a self-taught optimist.

But then, of course, it did. Life just got a lot harder. It wasn't one great tragedy. It was the collision of many speed bumps that piled up into a concrete wall that I couldn't see past.

And life kept right on moving. My children were still well-fed and adequately tickled. My husband still got kissed. The whites were sorted.

As it turns out, a difficult season isn't the depression commercial come to life. It isn't even the hang-around blues.

It's a lesson. It 's an opportunity to take in the view of my life from a different corner of the room.

I look out from my orange velvet chair - the one I never used to sit in - and the world still looks pretty grand. Yeah, Mama has had some things on her mind. The days have been harder. I've spent more nights wracking my brain for an answer - the answer. I've read books, talked to smart people, tried this, on a whim, and then that. I've listened to a whole riot of voices.

But only when the days got the grayest did I finally cry out, "I need to hear Your voice."

It was after midnight, but the sun had never looked so bright.

God has lovingly placed us in a world with so many resources at our fingertips. We seek advice on finances, parenting, marriage, and our careers from people who serve God. I have seen for myself that God often speaks through those voices.

But when well-meaning advice muddles and contradicts and we find ourselves trudging through it all without direction, there is One Voice waiting to throw us a line and haul us out. His is the voice that speaks directly into our soul. His is the only one that matters.

This is one lesson I may have never learned were it not for my own season of gray.

And it's amazing how, in that single moment of desperation, the atmosphere lifted and eight shades of pink pushed through the once-frozen soil.

It's spring, baby.


  1. hmmmm...i needed to hear this today. thank you.

  2. Ok, I popped over here today and didn't even know you were writing. SO glad I came. Luv this post. Thanx.

  3. having gray spots in my life has allowed me to reach out to others and understand/relate to their problems.
    it has also softened my heart and given me a lot more compassion towards others that i might have easily judged too soon.
    God is so so good.
    i am thankful for the valley.

  4. I used to be that person that passed out sympathy too. Now I share empathy. God is amazing like that.

  5. What's really frustrating is when there is no speed bumps really...no real reason for it. And when it doesn't lift even after calling out. I've suffered with it off and on for years and it's painful and embarrassing almost.

    1. Oh, Girl ~ I hear you! And I am right there with you (and have been for quite some time)'when it doesn't lift even after calling out'. I am so sorry for your pain!

  6. You know that proverb about lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him? I don't think it ever truly sunk in until I wandered around in a season of gray.

  7. It's so true that we can get online and read so many other great voices that we think should help, but only the Lord's voice can speak directly to our unique situation. I have to tell myself this a lot actually. Loved this!'

  8. This is beautiful. I have no reason or idea why, but January was just about the dreariest month ever for me. But the more fixated I became on Jesus, the more He began to shine and it all began to melt away. So thankful for those "8 shades of pink". And you. ;)

  9. Thanks, Shannan! I am learning this too. My family and I are going through a difficult season as well; but how awesome it is to be able to look to Jesus & rely on Him for our strength!