thinking clean


in a world where image seems to be of the utmost importance i find myself more and more appreciating the unique.
i was talking with a friend the other night about an actress with the most womanly curves and how feminine and lovely she looks. what was even more impressive about said actress was how she is not "Hollywood" thin and she's is totally okay with that.
now, i'll be the first to tell you i have body image issues.
it's one of the very main reasons i'm in CR.
i've been blessed to be in CR while i'm pregnant though.
it's like a gift i didn't know i wanted.

can i just tell you though.... that being pregnant, knowing that my body is doing what God created my body to do... i've never... IN MY LIFE.. felt more beautiful.
sure, i've had my moments where my clothes don't fit (when they did the week before)...
and i've had my doctor tell me i need to gain MORE weight to maintain my healthy pregnancy (which took me a while to wrap my head around).
but, here i am... gaining weight to help create a baby... and i'm 100% okay with where i am.
i feel good in the skin i'm in.

something i'm a bit weary of is if this feeling will last.
i believe my feelings are fickle and not always to be trusted...
(especially... ahem.. with all these pregnancy hormones!)
mostly because my feelings can change so quickly.
i understand my body will be different after i've had baby girl.
that i'll not only be a source of comfort for my little one, but i'll also be a source of nourishment.
that in and of itself gives me such a calming pride. (also.. i am crossing my fingers (and praying) that i am actually able to be a source of nourishment...)
so know that my arms will quiet cries,
that my kisses will bring peace to her little body and mind,
that my outward affection will help show her her worth.

in the mean time i've been meditating on this important piece of scripture as to help my mind understand the true beauty in myself as a woman.. even after i've birthed my daughter and may feel differently about my body:

Proverbs 31:10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.


2 comments:

  1. I've birthed five babies and...I agree, I have never felt more beautiful then while pregnant! You look great, Kacie, and though our bodies do change after pregnancy, the Lord sees fit to transform our hearts as well as our bodies! Enjoy every minute of this wonderful time!

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  2. I think an expectant mom is the most beautiful of all because it is an amazing God blessing experience. I loved being pregnant. Didn't always love the nausea and the weight was hard for me since I began at 87 pounds and delivered weighing 105 still very small in today's culture.
    Both babies were healthy, one was 6pds one was 5.10 so I was not starving them we were just tiny.

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